Now and Then
by EaglefootMoonflightVipertail
Summary: Even if their stories have ended. They will think of each other now and then. Lavi x Lenalee Oneshot/Songfic.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own D. Gray Man. or Blackmore's Night.

**Summary:** Even if their stories have ended. They will think of each other now and then. Lavi x Lenalee Oneshot/Songfic.

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**Now and Then**

**'Now and Then' By: Blackmore's Night.**

_The past time so familiar  
But that's why you couldn't stay  
Too many ghosts, too many haunted dreams  
Beside you were built to find your own way..._

Lavi had seen it too much. The death and despair of a battlefield. That he had put up a solid wall from his heart. But with this one test. Too many people had broke through the wall. But the only one who could steal his way into his heart was, Lenalee Lee.

Now Lenalee sat there on her bed, crying her eyes out. It was right after the war. Allen had succeed in defeating the Earl. But in exchange Allen, Kanda, and most of the exorcists had lost their lives. Expect for her, and Lavi.

Lavi was next in line for Bookman. And he had promised Bookman that they would leave right after the war. Anyway he couldn't take it since his two best friends had died. And it reminded him so much of the death he has seen in his 20 years. All the death that he watched without emotion, not even knowing how much pain, their loved ones had gone through.

Lenalee knew of his nightmares at night. Of the battlefields of the past. The ghosts of the dead asking him why he didn't try to save them. Why he just stood and watched with unemotional eyes. She knew that after that experience he had to leave. He had to find his path in life. Even if she knew that she wanted him by her side. And he wanted her too.

_But after all these years, I thought we'd still hold on_  
_But when I reach for you and search your eyes_  
_I see you've already gone..._

Lenalee couldn't believe that it went so fast. In a blink of the eye, her best friends had disappeared from her life. Just like they did long ago. But it was permanently. She had always feared that this day would come. That her family would break apart.

Everyone was going home to their families. Telling of the terrible days of the long war. Happy that they survived but sad for the departed. They told stories of the heroes that defeated the villain. But it was nothing like the kids thought of it. War wasn't a happy thing. It's depressing, one day you'll have the best days with your friends. And the next they'll be gone and you'll be alone.

Lenalee moved back to China with Koumi. Everyday she would dream of the days at the Order. With Allen, Kanda, and...Lavi. She loved Lavi. With his cheerful attitude that brighten her life. But when she woke up, she knew that nothing will ever be the same. She had even mistaken someone for him.

She didn't know why but every day she would search for his bright green eye. But she should already know that he is gone. She would never get those rare smiles of his or his secret kisses, anymore.

_That's OK_  
_I'll be fine_  
_I've got myself, I'll heal in time_  
_But when you leave just remember what we had..._  
_There's more to life than just you_  
_I may cry but I'll make it through_  
_And I know that the sun will shine again_  
_Though I may think of you now and then..._

Lavi everywhere he turned he was hunted by her long black hair and violet eyes. Even though Bookman just record what happen and move on. He couldn't. Not after everything they had been through. They had hidden their relationship from everyone. All the secret kisses at night. All the words they said to each other. We're all a waste.

Now he wasn't Lavi anymore he is Bookman. And he knows that Lenalee knows that they can't go on anymore. His love with Lenalee was one and a million, he'll never love anyone but her. But he just couldn't stay around her. Everything about her remind him of his fallen comrades. He knew that over time his heart will heal.

But his mind will wander to that once in a lifetime love. When he was young and in love with the most wonderful women that he had ever met in his life.

_Can't do a thing with ashes_  
_But throw them to the wind..._  
_Though this heart may be in pieces now_  
_You know I'll build it up again and_  
_I'll come back stronger than I ever did before_  
_Just don't turn around when you walk out that door..._

Lenalee knew that even if her heart was broken now. She would piece her heart back together again. Because ashes of a fire always blew away in the wind. Just like Lavi had lit a fire in her heart. The ashes left behind will disappear, and at that time she will be stronger then before. But even if she ever sees him again a spark will light the fire in her heart again. So she hopes that at time he won't turn around when he walks out.

Even if their stories have ended. They will think of each other now and then.

_That's OK_  
_I'll be fine_  
_I've got myself, I'll heal in time_  
_And even though our stories at the end_  
_I still may think of you now and then..._

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**A/N:** I hoped you liked it. Yeah I was planning on uploading the last chapter of 'The Stranger' today. But after listening to all these Blackmore's Night songs over and over again. I just had to write a song fic. I think this turned out pretty good. I might be writing another Blackmore's Night songfic with Allen x Road. I think a lot of Blackmore's Night songs are really easy to write songfics with. I would recommend listening to this song while reading this. I had to repeat the song a lot to write this.

Read and Review please. Reviews always make my day.


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